;I miss how simple my life was when I used heroin. Back then everything I did revolved around scoring, being high, & making ends meet so I could actually make money on top of what I use. I just realized I’ve gone 5 days without a benzo… I think? My memory is fucked, but at least I’m getting lots of rest. My circadian rythm is now hella wack too.

Love is the drug.

Love is for people who don’t feel safe &/or secure living by themselves so they seek out someone else to make them feel validated.

I spent my Saturday night partying in skidrow, where I saw a folk/blue grass band play, & drank a few beers. I bumped into many people I knew that night, & it was great! I also met many new people. While standing outside on the corner with my friend; Meghan, we engaged in conversation with a couple of guys who happened to be carrying THE TERRIBLE NARCOTIC THAT IS PLAGUING THE YOUTHS OF AMERICA, Marijuana. They did exactly what I thought they were going to do, which was loosely roll a small amount into a blunt & try & make us feel bad we didn’t throw down money on it. One of them took interest in my friend so he didn’t try too hard to get our money… but he strained himself trying to mack my friend, Meghan. Since we didn’t have any plans, extremely low on gas & very little to do out on the streets we went home with these 2 guys. Apparently they lived in the same condominium’s & have known each other their entire lives.

Anyway, the one bugger that was trying to mack my friend gave me a couple bucks & said “Go run down to the corner & buy a blunt”. He obviously was hoping I’d get lost in the city… As a matter of fact, I knew he wanted me to get lost, kid has a loud mouth. His friend who was actually very kind told him he’s being wack, suggesting that I run out alone into the city but I did it anyway. I didn’t trust either of those guys regardless, so I bolted down the street & bought a blunt & returned in what had to be record time.

Did I mention I did a flying ninja kick to someone’s chest while wearing steal toed boots? It was pretty fucking awesome. I was running down the side walk, dodging & jukin through the crowds & someone yelled “Oooh, someone’s dopesick!! Either that or he’s stealing!”. When I heard this I continued running straight at him & just kicked him & turned a corner. I was really aching to start a fight, but I love the mindfuck of ninja-ing someone with a boot to the chest & turning the corner & disappearing into the crowd. I fucking hate jackasses like him, living on the street isn’t easy… But what a RUSH that was!

I digress. I got back, my friend had a diabetic attack & collapsed so we got her a kit-kat & Pepsi. What can I say, we’re broke ass muthaphukka’z that can’t afford no pizza or subz. We ended up walking back to the car & driving home… Until we ran out of gas. Fortunately I was in (what I call) walking distance. I’ll walk &/or bike just about everywhere I go. I feel like I owe it to myself to consistently do physical & mental excercise. Anyway… My new nickname is Baby-boy ‘cause I’m so damn young in comparison to everyone else.

Uhhh… Yo I gotz a poundin headache, I’mma cut the shit & post this bitch right nawww.

Happy muthaphukkin birthday to me. #16 Two daze ago. Celebrating last night was AWESOME to say the least.

Another year…

Another year I claim of total indifference. I’m glad I don’t have many friends, or else I’d have to punch every single one of them in their faces for wishing me a happy birthday. I’ve punched a total of 2 friends of mine in the face today, given fare warning first of course. Age is just a number. It’s that simple! Not to say keeping track of time isn’t essential, I just don’t want to keep track of my time.

I’m moving apartments… Again. I just couldn’t take the smell of moth balls & cat piss any longer. I’ve considered moving West of Boston, but I’d be too far from my family & it’s hard being alone. I’m really sick of Ramen & Cup O’ Noodles…. Infact, I’m just sick of being on a budget… No… I’m sick & tired of being sick & tired!